From Resistance to Joy: Janet's Story of Transformation and Healing

This transcript is lightly edited for readability.

Edie: What helped you get to a point where you were making a decision and moving into action?

Janet: I think having my doctor yell at me. Well — yell in the sense of a loud voice. She said, you've got to do something, you're going to be incapacitated. And I thought, I don't think so. I'm going to take action way before that.

I'm excited about the bone part, but I'm more excited about all the other things that happened as a result of this program. I was really depressed. I wasn't sleeping well. I noticed that I didn't relate very well to other people, because I was uncomfortable in my skin all the time. There was this low level of worry, knowing that something was wrong and nobody could see it. And as I've started to feel better, it's easier to relate to other people. I can be more generous of spirit. I don't feel so sorry for myself. So overall, I think it's just made me a better me.

Edie: I am Edie Feffer, and welcome to Anchored — a show for women who are committed to living a life where everything they do and are begins with self-trust. They're unshakable in their truth, rooted in their emotional well-being, and steady in their commitment to self-love and body love. That is what it means to be anchored. Our conversations dive deep into all aspects of health and wellness, from food freedom and spirituality to routines and relationships. This is where you come to stay grounded.

I am just so excited to have this conversation with you. We have been working together for almost a year now, in both a group coaching setting and a one-on-one capacity, and it's just been such a joy to witness your transformation and to see all that you've accomplished in a year. So thank you so much for being here today.

Janet: You're welcome, Edie.

Edie: I would love to start just with an introduction. If you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit about yourself, that would be wonderful.

Janet: I'm 70 years old. I'm retired, and I live in Oregon. The reason that I was interested in the bone health program was because I've had various health things, but I've had some chronic health problems as well.

So when my doctor came down hard on me about my bone health, which was slowly going down — she yelled at me — I was kind of surprised to realize that my response was, well, we'll see about that.

My initial thought was, I want to hear from a bone specialist, like a surgeon, like Dr. Doug. Somebody like him. And I wanted to find out what the astronauts did when they came back from space, because I know they lose a huge part of their bone mass. When they come back from space, they can barely get out of those little capsules. So I did research into those two areas, and I came up with Dr. Doug, and I really liked the sound of his program.

My chronic health things have been the bones, but also my gut. So that's another thing that was great about this program, because there's a dietitian as well, and group coaching, individual coaching, that kind of thing, to make it applicable to me. I think I've wasted a lot of time researching, and I was ready to be done researching.

Edie: You shared so many things that we could look at a little more closely, if that's okay. I love the observation that you had spent a lot of time in research mode, which is so easy to do anytime you receive a scary diagnosis. And it can be easy to stay stuck in that. So what helped you get to a point where you were making a decision and moving into action?

Janet: I think having my doctor yell at me. It was like a challenge. And I thought, yeah, I want to do something that feels normal for me. I didn't want to do something bringing things in from the outside. It had to work. I have to do something that I'm willing to do the whole rest of my life, because that's what we're talking about. I have some issues, I need to address them, but they have to be organic to me.

Edie: You're not alone in feeling like the initial response that you received from your doctor, or the guidance that you're getting, isn't perhaps in alignment with the approach that you want to take. And I'm so sorry that you were in a situation where you were yelled at by your doctor.

Janet: Well, yell in the sense of a loud voice. She said, you've got to do something, you're going to be incapacitated. And I thought, I don't think so. I'm going to take action way before anything like that ever happened.

Edie: And that mindset there, Janet — what a win to celebrate, because it would have been really easy to go into panic or fear.

Janet: Oh, yeah, definitely. I hear fear from the groups that I've been participating in through OHH, and I think a lot of the intensity comes from this panic mode that we all go into. And the beauty of reflecting on this 10 months later is I could see how that really changed over the course of months. It takes a while, but it really changed from resistance to joy, really, in the end.

Edie: Let's just get into it. Tell us more about that. When you started the program, where was your head? What were you thinking? What were you feeling? Can you describe the resistance?

Janet: Oh, yes. And I wrote it down, because of your encouragement to write things down. I just put a whole page of why I didn't like the program. I was very resistant.

I thought, here we go, another doctor telling me what to do. People are analyzing me. I'm getting poked with needles, and I'm getting told I have to swallow all these supplements and so forth.

As things became more gelled, I had my more personalized program. But I thought, well, I've experimented for a decade or two with some of these issues. I probably have a better insight as to what will and won't work for me. Because everything was foreign — I hadn't tried those things. So there was a lot of resistance. I wasn't really angry or anything, but I was dragging my feet, we'll put it that way. It's like, well, we'll see about this. That kind of attitude.

So things have changed since then.

Edie: I'm so happy. I feel it, I see it, and I've got to witness it.

You shared some thoughts that I think are so easy to relate to. When you're starting something that's new, feeling like people are analyzing you, and you've had these issues for a decade, so you've been trying things in the past — what's going to be different about this? What was different? What part of the protocol was new for you?

Janet: What I really wanted was individual answers tailored to me, because research doesn't tell you anything about what you actually should do. It gives you information, but it doesn't give you a practical, step-by-step path to follow to make any kind of progress at all. So that part of it was very appealing to me — that individualized program. That's what we're paying for: to get information about ourselves and our particular makeup.

And I learned things about me I didn't even know. Like, wow, I'm a little bit anemic. That wasn't even on my radar. So then I could address that. And so the motivation to make the changes started to feel part of me, instead of being put on me from the outside.

Edie: I love that, Janet.

Janet: It makes the experience much more peaceful and pleasurable and holistic, and then I start to own it. That's the part where the joy comes in. It's not a program out there. It's what I do. It's how I schedule my day, even. You break it down into little pieces, and then pretty soon it becomes a part of you. And now I have ownership of the things that I've learned and the things that have been told to me by the experts. It becomes just part of who I am, to take care of myself.

Edie: And that's a transformation that's so much bigger than just healing your bones.

Janet: Oh, absolutely. I'm excited about the bone part, but I'm more excited about all the other things that happened as a result of this program.

Edie: Tell us about that.

Janet: Well, I was really depressed. Part of the struggle of having a chronic health concern is that — for me, I wasn't sleeping well. I noticed that I didn't relate very well to other people, because I was uncomfortable in my skin all the time. There was this low level of worry, shall we say. Knowing that something was wrong and nobody could see it. That was really the essence of it. I knew there was something really, really wrong. I'm healthy, but I'm not well. I knew that.

And so this program gave me the space to look at lots of different things, come up with something more customized, and, like I said, to really own it for myself.

As I've started to feel better, it's easier to relate to other people. I can be more generous of spirit. I can overlook things more easily. I don't feel so sorry for myself. I can consider other people's needs and their chronic struggles, and have a lot of empathy for that. So overall, I think it's just made me a better me.

Edie: I am so happy for you. For anyone who's listening and is wondering how you were able to create the result of feeling more comfortable in your own skin, relating to other people better, not being in a place of as much worry, just feeling happier overall — how were you able to accomplish that when you're in a bone health program?

Janet: I think there comes a moment when you have to become willing to be a participant in the program. It's one thing to just change your behavior, but that's so external.

So for me, I needed that process of resistance. I really needed that, because it was my time to edit and to own and to organize all the information that comes to you in the program, and then go back over it and really take ownership of that. So for me it was the whole process. Time is part of the process.

At the very beginning you just want results, or you want to measure something, or you want to prove that your investment in this program is worth it. What am I getting out of this? And we become so externally obsessed with other areas, we don't take the time maybe to really just let that process gel and become part of who you are.

I became willing to incorporate, even though I wasn't sure yet, the things that were being fed to me — if you will, the things that I was being exposed to. I was willing to just let those ideas start and see where they went.

So after that resistance, which is okay, and maybe desirable, because then you're fighting against something — you have to transition at some point to become willing to really let that be a part of you.

Edie: Such good insight. A couple of thoughts I want to share for anyone wondering what the program includes: we're taking a holistic approach to reversing your osteoporosis. So within the program, we explore things like stress, sleep, your nutrition, movement, supplements, potentially hormone replacement therapy. We do very thorough labs, so we're looking at all different aspects of your health and well-being.

The two things that Janet mentioned around time and results — healing your bones requires such patience, because we don't get that immediate feedback on whether the actions I'm taking are creating the result that I desire. And you've done such a good job of gathering up evidence that what you are doing is making a difference. You've done such a good job of managing your mindset and celebrating all of the wins along the way, outside of lab results or imaging.

Janet: Exactly. I've become less interested in that, actually. It's time now for me to schedule my last blood draw, and I'm like, okay — but I've already achieved the state of mind and the peace part of it, which I value almost more than finding out. I anticipate that I'll continue to improve by my final set of labs, but the part that I've gotten apart from that is almost as important to me as seeing the improvement on the labs.

I've made some notes on the different areas of the program and the things that I've learned from each of them. So if I can refer to my notes, we can go through those.

Edie: Please do, Janet.

Janet: All right. So first of all, supplementation. That comes through LabCorp, and I didn't even know where my local LabCorp was. I don't know anything about it. So I had to go through that whole process, of course. And once I learned where it is and how to do it, I learned that I can actually order my own labs at some point too. So I was like, ooh, a whole new resource. That's fantastic. I learned that from the experience of going to the lab.

And as I go through the labs, I'm also collecting information on what am I going to use from this in the future, once the program is over. So that's always in the back of my head: what is going to be permanent out of this part of the program.

The second thing would be hormone replacement therapy. I have been on that for probably five months or so, and that's helped my sleep. I have a long history of chronic insomnia, to the point where if I got four hours of sleep, I thought, well, at least I can function. And that was 90% of the time — four or five hours of sleep. And now, like last night, I slept eight hours straight. It's not unusual. Seven or eight hours, probably 60 or 70% of the time. I still have bad nights, but for somebody who's had insomnia for 30 years, that's fantastic. So that part's been really good.

On exercise, it's been really interesting, because I thought, well, I already work out and I walk every day, so what more do they want me to do? I hope I don't have to do a whole lot of complicated stuff. And I saw the videos on all the exercises, and some of them I was already doing, but I've learned to modify as well. I was able to make it more specific to me.

We talked, Edie, about the free weights, and because I have nerve damage in my hands, I sometimes drop things. I was concerned about lifting heavier weights and dropping them. My husband was leery too, because we both exercise at the same time.

But I found kettlebells. I thought I would just show you — this is my eight pounder, and it's filled with sand, so it's actually soft. So I do drop it occasionally, I do drop it from time to time, but it doesn't hurt me or the floor. That was one way I could continue on. And I have heavier ones. This is just my eight pound. I was lifting two or three pounds when the program began, and I'm up to 20.

And I've combined the 20 pound free weight with stomping on the concrete all the way around my basement. So that's combining heel drops with the lifting. That's one way I've modified the exercise. I've also learned how to increase resistance as I go along, and when to look for that. So as I exercise, I'm thinking, how can I make this one more resistant in the future?

Edie: Can I comment on that, Janet? Because I just want to highlight how amazing you are. The fact that you have not let any of your limitations hold you back from making such fabulous progress with resistance and impact training is another win to celebrate.

Everybody is at a different point with movement, and we all come into the program with unique health histories, for different reasons, needing a modification. I remember when you shared the workaround you found for the concern about potentially dropping a weight — finding kettlebells that are filled with sand, and that are as cute as the ones that you showed me. How fun that it's purple.

Janet: Yes, it's purple.

Edie: It's just another example of what a beautiful mindset you have. You didn't make anything a problem. You found a solution, and it's great that you're continuing to progress. Congrats on going from two pounds to lifting so heavy now.

Janet: It's funny, because I didn't really notice until I was bringing groceries in with my husband. He always took the heavy ones, and I just grabbed one and realized it was heavier, and it was no problem. And I thought, wow, I'm getting stronger. It's kind of hard to know if you're getting stronger, but that was a great example. No big deal.

Edie: So fun. That's an example, for anyone listening, of how Janet was on the hunt for her wins — noticing, oh wow, I am getting stronger, and claiming all of that. You do such a good job of sharing it and celebrating it. I'm just pumped to hear more.

Janet: Pumped too. Shall we go on to the dietitian part of it?

Edie: Absolutely.

Janet: That was my root cause, and I knew that. I have had abdominal pain — they always have you rate from one to 10 — probably six to eight, about 80% of my waking hours, for nine years. I've gone to emergency rooms, I've talked to doctors, and I've been prescribed antidepressants, because clearly I'm making it up.

So that part of the program was really important to me. I really wanted to dig in there, and I have made massive progress in that one. I could go on and on, but some of those areas we probably don't want to put on a podcast. We'll just say it's been dramatic.

As with lifting more weight, I'm also doing much better with my diet — experimenting. Part of the program, all this information, the attitude of experimenting with it instead of, well, I'll do this, or I'll check that off my list. It puts it in a little bit of a different light. So I've been able to make huge progress with the diet.

I currently have zero pain. I've gone from that amount of pain to, if I eat too much, I start to get a little pain again. But I'm starting to really understand that it's not all in my head. I have some issues, and I'm currently making my own yogurt, because we found out I have SIBO. So I have these little jars, and there's eight of them in a set, and I have half a cup a day.

That alone, from the program, will be worth the investment in this program for me. Because you can imagine, that level of pain all the time would only go away at night, and I'd seen specialists and nobody could tell me what was wrong. Well, it's gut bacteria, and that's not something they can approach in most Western medical mindsets. So that's been dramatic. And that's just been in the last two months or so. So we have this long program, and at month eight I finally figured out something that really, really helps me every day. Also, I'm sleeping better. So: no pain, and rested. That's worth anything.

Edie: Can we pause a minute and talk more about the gut health? Is that okay? I think that would have been so frustrating, to be told that it's in your head, or to be put on antidepressants — to essentially not feel heard. And to go from such extreme pain to zero pain, you've got to be over the moon.

Janet: Yeah. One time my brother and his wife came to visit, and I was in so much pain. We were sitting around after dinner, and I just got up, got my car keys, and drove myself to the hospital. That's how much pain I've been in.

And to have this program help me with something so specific and daily and intense has just been fantastic. How can I thank you guys enough? It wasn't necessarily directly that my dietitian said make your own yogurt. It was just part of the conversation, kind of casting around to see what kinds of things might help. We came up with this, and she tested me for that.

Another thing she suggested was that it could have been mold exposure. So we got our house tested for mold, and we found out we don't have a speck of mold — which is nice too. So we explored a lot of different areas of what could be causing all this pain. Now we don't have to spend any more time worried about that, and I don't have to experiment with any more antidepressant-type scenarios, because I wasn't depressed in that way. It's certainly depressing, but I wasn't depressed in a way that was causing that pain.

Edie: Right. And I think such a great lesson for us to see in this is that you didn't give up. You were willing to experiment, and to stay in observation mode, and to share that with Angela. We have to shout her out, for guiding you in the gut health journey. What a great place to be, where your patience, your persistence, has all paid off.

Janet: Oh, yes. I think so too. Definitely. It's been worth it.

Edie: We can continue with what's on your list. I'd love to hear what's next.

Janet: Okay. Lifestyle coaching — that's you. The thought model has been incredibly helpful to me. I don't know if the people who are listening have even gotten to that part of the program or not, but I would say watch for that, because it's just so great to write down something that happened. What do I think about that? What do I feel about that? What are my actions, my options, and then how do I feel about my options?

So that's the thought model, and it applies to everything. If I'm stuck, or if I come up against something where my heart starts to pound and I know there's an issue developing, this is something I can write right away. But you have to write it down. Typing it in your laptop or your phone is not the same experience. It's getting that brain and the whole body involved in problem solving.

What that does is it means I can circumnavigate a spiral scenario, because the thought model interrupts my physiological response, so that I'm able to get a handle on it before I start just exploding with feeling and reaction. Instead of reacting, it's more of a considered response. So that thought model has been super helpful.

Also, Atomic Habits — that book we went through as a group, Edie. That's been incredibly helpful. The main thing there that's so encouraging, out of many ideas, is to make everything a little bit better. Was it 1% better in everything? So then I thought, well, I'm just going to look for that everywhere. It applies to all of life. Just looking for ways to make small improvements. And then making it easy — that's the other thing that was highlighted in the book. Make it easy. So plan your day, or your environment, so that the habit that you want to have, or that way of thinking, is more automatic, becomes easier to access. So that's been really helpful too.

Those are just two of the things from working with you that have been incredibly helpful. And I would say too, as you go through the program, look for things where the person presenting says, this alone can improve your bone health.

There's the power plate. The power plate has been proven, and there are videos on that on the OHH channel that will walk you through it. Just knowing I can get on there for 10 minutes a day and answer emails or whatever. You're not all over the place — it's a very gentle vibration, so it's still low-intensity vibration.

So I went ahead with that, and the reason is because, remember at the beginning I said I was interested in what NASA did to help astronauts after they came back from space? The power plate is actually what they use — a different version than the one I have, of course, theirs is much bigger. But that's fascinating to me. And my husband retired from NASA, so this is kind of part of our family wheelhouse. So finding out that the power plate was what they used too, I was like, I'm in. I really enjoy that. Look for things like that as you go through the program, and make note of it.

Edie: Such good advice. There are a few things I'd love to expand on with what you've just shared.

The thought model — I'm so glad that you found that to be so helpful. I always want to give credit to the people who have shaped the way I teach and coach, and that model comes from Brooke Castillo. To Janet's point, it's a framework that you can use to solve any problem in your life. I teach it through a journaling perspective, to help you work through any difficult circumstance — thoughts, feelings, or actions, things that you're doing or not doing that are bothering you — and it will help you create the result that you desire.

And we get to do all of this work through what I call a gentle, nonjudgmental lens. We're just always doing our best to stay in observation mode as we notice our thoughts or our feelings, what you're doing or not doing, and then we get to work with all of that.

Janet: Very helpful. Even on the run. If you want to just run it through your mind — like if you're in a meeting and something's, uh oh, I don't like that — you can kind of just do it in your mind too.

Edie: Yes. And it just creates freedom and relief, because you realize that you are in control of what we choose to think. And we're also able to acknowledge the feelings and work through them. So it's not about just being positive when you're feeling down. It's not toxic positivity or anything like that. But it is a way to get to know yourself better.

And then with your thoughts on Atomic Habits — that's one of my favorite books. It's written by James Clear, and it's awesome to read that book when you're on a healing journey, because I think it's so very normal to feel overwhelmed, especially if you look at a program like this. There are so many pieces of the puzzle. It can certainly feel like, when you are getting new information and learning new platforms, maybe I'm drinking from a fire hose. But the reminder is that you don't have to be extreme, to your point. You can take one baby step at a time.

Janet: And enjoy the unfolding of the year. It takes a full year. It just takes a while, because it's like kneading bread. You've got to kind of work all these ingredients in and just see how it rises, or doesn't, and try another batch. It's that same concept.

So I was just looking at my notes here, under the category of what I've learned. I just put five things.

Number one is, I can stop researching. Like I've mentioned before, I don't think you can get it internalized and get that peace and joy by analysis. The problem I have is not from lack of analysis. The problem I have is not from lack of numbers and data. That's one thing that was nice, to let go of that. I mean, how many hours? I can't even imagine how many hours I've spent researching. I just get more hours out of my day now. So that's really big.

The second thing was confidence that I am actually addressing my issues. And the habits that I've acquired are flexible habits. I'm not intense about my new habits and my new mindset. I can expand it a little bit and contract it a little bit. So in order for it to be organic, it has to be flexible.

I'm a person who likes everything laid out A, B, C, and lined up, and check off the boxes. But the process itself, in order for it to work, you have to kind of let go of that a little bit and just be human. Just the softer side. Just let it mull.

Edie: Can I pause you on that one? Because I think that's one that will help so many people — whether you're working on reversing your osteoporosis or something else — that sense of hanging on very tightly, because we want to make sure we are checking all the boxes and doing things perfectly. And that can put so much pressure on ourselves.

The concept that came to mind for me when you were describing this flexibility that you have with yourself around what I call your high-vibe habits is the three R's: your routines, your rituals, and your rhythms. When we talk about that, it's this idea that you get to be flexible with yourself. We get to have multiple sets of your three R's based on whatever season of life you're navigating. It could be travel, the holidays. Maybe you're in your ideal home environment now and things are cruisy and flowy, and you get to have your ideal set of the three R's.

But your point is that you're not locked into one way of doing things for 12 months. You have gotten yourself to a point where this is just who you are, how you be, how you live, wherever you are.

Janet: Wherever I am, and whatever I'm going through. Because I've thought many times, this was not the year for me to sign up for this program — but maybe it was, because I've had just one thing after another of health issues. I cracked some ribs. I had sudden hearing loss, and in the testing they tested me for a brain tumor. So there was a lot of anxiety that went around that.

But I was further along in the program, to a point where I could be flexible even within that. So I got a huge piece of paper — it was left over from having our floors worked on, so we're talking like three feet by six feet — and I just started writing stuff on there. It included every area of my life: what I knew, what I needed to know, when would I know it, how would I know it. Just that whole process that I'd already been through with the thought model and some other things, journaling. I thought, well, I'm just going to journal on one huge piece of paper. And I doodled on it, and I would just go upstairs to my little workroom and spend time up there, and getting it out on paper was helpful.

It has to be flexible, because life throws things at you. So it's been a challenging year for me, and yet I've still been able to develop what I hope is a mindset that will help other people, even. But certainly it's helped myself to really find some definitive answers.

Edie: I'm so glad that you're getting the answers. The win that I'm celebrating for you there is the way you managed that stress.

Janet: It was bad. So bad. It was over the holidays, so it was just a very bad time. But it's life. That's what happens, especially as you get older. Things come out of the blue, and it has to be flexible or it's going to break.

Edie: And that's why the work that you've done over the year is sustainable.

Janet: Exactly right. It has to be sustainable, or else why bother?

Edie: And the other thing that's coming to mind for me is, I always say in coaching, and when we're on a healing journey, we never know exactly what the journey's going to look like until we get in there and start doing the work. We don't know what we're going to uncover. That can be difficult, especially when you have certain parts of a protocol that you want to be following to heal your bones, and then you learn, I have to pause movement because of this injury. Or you have a scare, like the potential brain tumor, that elevates your stress — and we're working on reducing stress.

It would be very easy to feel like these setbacks are slowing you down in a program. So I'm wondering if you have any words of wisdom that you would share to someone who feels like that. Like, I'm not healing my bones as fast as I could, because I'm dealing with X, Y, Z.

Janet: I think we just have to be abundantly gracious to ourselves. I don't know how else to say it. Would I treat someone else the way I treat myself? Never would I treat my pet that way — you're not coming along as fast as I want you to come along. You would never do that. It would never enter your mind. I don't know why we're so hard on ourselves.

So is that maybe helpful? Let's be gracious to ourselves. Abundantly kind.

Edie: Be your own best friend. Such great advice. I didn't mean to interrupt you on your list, but I'm excited to hear what's next.

Janet: Better communication with my doctor. Because I'm confident now. I go in and talk to my doctor, and that input from my doctor is important — but also my confidence that I've gained through this program is valid. It's part of the puzzle.

I can appreciate very much that she is an expert. Oh my goodness, of course she is. But I'm an expert too. I'm an expert in me. I have a PhD in me. I know me really well, and she doesn't know me as well, but she's an expert as well. So instead of dismissing my input, I take that very seriously, as just as important, maybe, as her expertise. I will not ignore what she's said, but I'm not going to ignore what I know to be true as well.

Edie: Janet, that is so in alignment with everything that I speak to in terms of self-trust. I believe there's one thing that holds the key to everything we want and deserve, and that's self-trust. Self-trust with food, with our career, with love relationships, and with our own body and the inner wisdom that it sends us.

So what a great place to be, where you feel like you can take the information that you receive from everyone — who I believe is doing the best that they can — and then you get to run that through your own filter and go from there, knowing that you're working with your body because you're listening to its guidance.

Janet: Guidance. That's it.

And then the other thing that I said, and it's kind of hard to go into specifics on this, but I've learned that the habits that I've acquired, the routines that I've acquired, the scheduling I've acquired, is mandatory for me because it works — but I don't have to get it all done in one day. If I can go over a period of multiple days or a week and get to all of it, it's good enough. And then I can get back more fully on as I need to.

That's talking about the flexibility, and that probably is the most important for me. Because if I don't sleep well, it's very difficult for me to do some of the other things that I've been doing. So I give myself grace, as long as I get back to those within a few days or a week. Like when I thought I might have a very serious issue, I gave myself as much time as I needed, and then I got right back into my program. So it's not quite so on-off. The whole thing is part of the whole thing.

Being able to dip in and dip out if I need to, if something critical happens — like the other day, I cut my eye. I don't know what got in my eye, but I only had one eye available to me. So I was very limited in what I could do, but I could still do something. My eye healed up fine and we just went right back to the program.

But for me personally, I always had this feeling of, I'm either doing it or I'm not doing it. And if I'm not doing it, it's terrible, and then I'm trying to wind myself back up to get on and do it again. To get rid of that and make it a little softer, gentler — as long as it's part of the whole week's plan and the month's plan, then it's perfectly fine. So that mindset has been, for me personally, really helpful, because I was just so intense all the time because of pain. For one thing, pain kind of makes you brittle and not able to be flexible.

Edie: Thank you for sharing all of this. Two thoughts on what you've shared.

You have done such a good job of always being focused on what you can do, not what you can't. We saw that with the weights example that you shared and the nerve damage, and then also in this example with the eye, where you focused on what you could do.

And what a win, to have unhooked from the all-or-nothing mindset. So many people, I think, live in that headspace. I used to be one of them. I did that in the form of dieting. I was a yo-yo dieter for decades, and had so many perfectionistic tendencies that kept me trapped in that cycle of starting or stopping. So when you spoke to being on track or off track, I can relate — feeling like we need to do it all and to be perfect, otherwise we're starting again.

I think about this as learning to feel comfortable sometimes being in the gray. One thought that I like to practice is that I had this draw-a-line-in-the-sand moment where I was refusing to tell myself that I was off track just because I had some disruptor in my life. It was a decision that I get to be on track for good.

Janet: Because I'm just going to use the three R's. Be flexible.

Edie: Be flexible. And that's what I see coming through for you.

Janet: When I was a single mother, I remember a tactic that was really helpful too, and it applies to this program: decide some things once. There are some things in life you just need to decide once.

Am I going to be a person who exercises, because that's going to help me relieve stress? There was lots of stress there. I really need to exercise. And I decided once that I would walk. It didn't matter how long, how far, how high up the hill I got — none of that mattered. I didn't measure anything. I just walked, because I had decided once that I was going to be a person who walks.

So I think that applies to this program too. We can decide, I'm going to be a person who's concerned with my bone health. I'm going to be a person who is gentle with myself. I'm going to be a person who pays attention to my gut as a helpful warning device — if I'm doing too much, or I'm eating too much, or I'm taking on too much, to kind of come back. And so the gut pain is actually a friend. Pain can be a friend. If you don't have any pain receptors, you're going to hurt yourself. So these things that have been irritants, I can address them by deciding on a course of action that will make progress. But decide that once: I will become a person who just plain does this.

Edie: This is why I always say that your transformation starts with a decision. It's a decision that you make, and we can see that you've done that. You weren't going to entertain the back and forth. It was a decision that I'm going to walk, and you structured it in a way that was doable.

The other thing that I love in what you just shared is that we can see you created an identity change. It was so much more than just following a workout perfectly. You used words like, I am a person who. That's another reason why this transformation is sustainable — because you've shifted your self-concept. You've created a new identity.

Janet: Yes, I agree with that. So thank you.

Edie: You are welcome. Should we keep cruising? Any other things on your list, or was that everything?

Janet: For me personally, the last one I had was: diet affects my attitude, my bone health, and my gut health. For me — and probably for anybody on this program — there's a reason why you've had bone loss. Once you can find that, then you can kind of zero in on it, and it becomes part of the bone loss picture as well, because it's part of why you've had bone loss.

So the fact that I've been able to identify diet as my main cause — I had no idea why. That's been really helpful to me. So even though yes, it's a bone loss program, for me it's been a diet transformation program as well. And I think that will happen for everybody. Whatever your root cause is, that will become part of what this program was about for you. Not just the bones.

Edie: Yes. And again, we just have to sing Angela's praises for facilitating that.

Is there anything I haven't asked that you want to make sure we share with listeners?

Janet: It's really important to make this your own program. There is a bone program, but make it — you know, fill in your name. For me, it's Janet's program. So taking it away from the box scenario and making it something that I've actually incorporated into my life. We've touched on that over and over as we've been talking. It's just critical. If it doesn't become part of who you are, then I would guess you're not going to get as much out of this program as you can. So I would look for ways you can knead it into the dough of your life and really make it part of who you are.

Edie: Janet, that is so well said. I can't wait to put this out into the world, because I know it's going to help so many people.

Janet: I really hope so. Because when you start this program — when I started it, I was really lost. So I was hoping today we could make the podcast that was the podcast I wanted to hear at the beginning. That would have helped me be more patient with the process. I mean, I've ended up in a good place, but it might have encouraged me to let go of that resistance a little earlier. I really wanted to be of help to other people.

Edie: You have been, no doubt. Thank you so, so, so much for being here.

If you'd like more information on Dr. Doug Lucas, or if you're curious to learn more about reversing osteoporosis, be sure to check the show notes. I have linked Dr. Doug's resources there for you.

If you enjoyed this episode, please do me a favor and rate it. Your reviews will help me help more people. And if you'd like my support in your health journey, you can head to my website at ediefeffer.com, where you can check out the different ways that we can work together. You can also come hang out with me on Instagram — I'm @ediefeffer. I will see you here next week.